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| THE FOUL-MOUTHED PARROT
This woman's husband died at sea and she received his parrot as the only possession by which to remember him. Even though it was foulmouthed, she put up with it for sentimental reasons. After several unsuccessful months of trying to coerce the parrot to change his "sailor" ways, she finally issued him an ultimatum, "I'm having the bridge club over today and if one swear word is heard in the room, I'm going to feed you to the cat!" The parrot mulled this over and decided he had better start reforming or he was soon to become kitty fare. Later that day, the ladies started showing up. Unfortunately, one very large, elderly, snobbish-type woman sat down right by the corner where the parrot's cage was. After a few hands of cards, there was a refreshment break and the conversation really started getting heavy. The parrot didn't care much for the conversation or the attitude of the lady. The more she talked, the more he got these twinges to do something to get rid of her. Finally the parrot had it and piped up with, "Whore boat leavin' for China at two o'clock!" The woman looked up and said, "Well! I never!" then she stood up and headed for the door. Everyone is frozen in their seats when the parrot yelled after her, "Hey! Where are you goin'? Boat don't leave till two!"
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