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TEN CHRISTMAS GIFTS OF 1999
10. Vibrators -- Surprise Mom this Christmas with a gift she can enjoy all year long! 9. Fart Fresheners -- Kinda like odor eaters for yer asshole. 8. Gift Certificates To Your Local Whorehouse -- Did anyone say STD? It's the gift that keeps on giving! 7. Pit Bulls -- These dogs make great pets...and are great for warding off unwanted law enforcement officers! 6. Pepper Spray -- The kids can play some funny pranks at school with this! 5. Jock Straps -- They're definitely becoming a fashion MUST!!! 4. Crack Pipes -- Grandma will LOVE her new crackpipe! (or did she want a crock pot???) 3. Mouse Balls -- It never hurts to have a couple extra balls for your PC mouse...just in case. 2. Crotchless Long Johns -- Eskimos say there's nothing sexier than seeing their wives or girlfriends in crotchless long johns. 1. KY Jelly -- It's cheap, and everyone loves a well-lubed rodgering from time to time.
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