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| RULES FOR DRIVING IN NEW YORK CITY
* When on a one way street, stay to the right to allow oncoming traffic to pass. * Never, ever, stop for a pedestrian unless he flings himself under the wheels of your car. * The first parking space you see will be the last parking space you see. Grab it. * Never get in the way of a car that needs extensive body work. * Always look both ways when running a red light. * Never use directional signals when changing lanes. They only warn other drivers to speed up and not let you in. * Making eye contact revokes your right of way. * Whenever possible, stop in the middle of a crosswalk to ensure inconveniencing as many pedestrians as possible. And if a pedestrian ahead of you steps into the road, speed up, honk or yell loudly and chase him back up on the curb. Pedestrians have no rights.
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