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| TRAVEL TIPS
Helpful Hints for the Inexperienced Traveler: - Be very suspicious if the advertised price of a Caribbean cruise includes the phrase "Free Ammo." - Consider carefully before visiting a country where the license plate motto is Die American Pig. * There is no legitimate reason for a travel agent to need to know if you have experience in jungle warfare. * If you find yourself in Iran, do not use the word blanket head. * On a trip to Canada, your travel agent should not charge you for an interpreter. * While in the Vatican, do not refer to St. Peter as "Petey-Boy." * Do not board a cruise ship if passengers are being issued oars. * Avoid any Latin American Tour named Bay of Pigs, Two. * In South America, say no to anyone wanting you to deliver a suitcase of powdered sugar to their grandmother in Miami. * Legitimate travel agents do not dress in foreign military uniforms.
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