BENEFITS OF BEING A WOMAN

* We can get rid of leg hair without pretending that we do a lot of cycling/swimming or any other sport that would require aerodynamic legs.

* We absently hum tunes from musicals without anyone being suspect of our sexuality.

* When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll it's sad.

* We can use cosmetics should we wake up looking like something the cat dragged in.

* We can wear platforms - which is why there is no such thing as a "little woman syndrome."

* We don't have to get our strength up between sessions... no it's much easier for us to get it in the first place.

* We can get off with those years younger than us without being called dirty old perverts.

* We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

* We get to flirt with systems support men who always return our calls, and are nice to us when we blow up our computers.

* We know that Tetris is the computer game to end all games.

* We got off the Titanic first.

* Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - they look like complete dorks in ours.

* We have total control over our eyebrows.

* We can be groupies. Male groupies are stalkers.

* It's cool to be a daddy's girl. It's sad to be a mommy's boy.

* We can cry and get off speeding fines.

* The thrill of surprising people by being good at darts... and pool... and football.

* We live longer, so we can be cantankerous old biddies wearing inappropriate clothes and shouting at strangers... men die earlier so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

* We know that games are fun, but don't believe there's a direct correlation between the size of our scores and the size of our...womanhood.

* Taxis stop for us.

* We get drunk quicker and cheaper.

* We have no desire to arrange our possessions in alphabetical order. Ever.

* We've never fancied a cartoon character or the central figure in a computer game.

* It does not enhance our social standing to understand the inner workings of a 'ruck' (or any other rugby thing). But we look INCREDIBLY cool if we do.

* We never recognize ourselves in aspects of Mr. Bean. Ever.

* We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.