THE FEMALE STAGES OF
LIFE
AGE/ DRINK
17 Wine Coolers
25 White wine
35 Red wine
48 Dom Perignon
66 Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaser
EXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES
17 Need to wash my hair
25 Need to wash and condition my hair
35 Need to color my hair
48 Need to have Francois color my hair
66 Need to have Francois color my wig
FAVORITE SPORT
17 Shopping
25 Shopping
35 Shopping
48 Shopping
66 Shopping
DRUG
17 Shopping
25 Shopping
35 Shopping
48 Shopping
66 Shopping
DEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE
17 "Burger King"
25 "Free meal"
35 "A diamond"
48 "A bigger diamond"
66 "Home Alone"
FAVORITE FANTASY
17 Tall, dark and handsome
25 Tall, dark and handsome with money
35 Tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain
48 A man with hair
66 A man
HOUSE PET
17 Muffy the cat
25 Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat
35 Irish setter and Muffy the Cat
48 Children from his first marriage and Muffy the Cat
66 Retired husband dabbles in taxidermy, stuffs Muffy the Cat
WHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET
MARRIED?
17 17
25 25
35 35
48 48
66 66
IDEAL DATE
17 He offers to pay
25 He pays
35 He cooks breakfast the next morning
48 He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids
66 He can chew breakfast
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