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| SIGNS YOUR SWIMMING POOL NEEDS CLEANING
- That green tarp covering your pool? You DON'T have a tarp on your pool. - Neighborhood kids ask if they can jump on your trampoline. - That guy from Sunset Boulevard is REALLY beginning to smell gamey. - pH is so high, in vitro fertilization is possible. - Kids still pee in your pool, but they refuse to get in it first. - Skipping rocks across it causes sparks. - New algae species attract a Discovery Channel film crew to your backyard. - Jello-like water slowing the pace of water polo games to unacceptable levels. - Luke Skywalker and Yoda appear in search of the sunken X-Wing. - The Grim Reaper shows up in his Speedo. - "DREDGE ME" spelled out in algae on the bottom. - You can walk on the water, even though you're only the son of Gus. - Dr. Kervorkian seen filling IV bottles at pool side. - Your recently installed pool filter resembles the Marlboro Man's chest x-ray. - You haven't seen that much scum since Mickey Rourke's last movie. - The amount of body hair found in the drain gives even Robin Williams a run for his money.
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