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| FUN THINGS TO DO AT A SWIMMING POOL
* Stand on top of the high board and say you won't come down until your demands are met. * Tell the lifeguards that they aren't doing their jobs because you have seen at least 15 people drown today. * Ask people if they have seen your pet shark. * Sit in the baby pool and play with the toys. * Take a flutter board and pretend you can't swim. * Hit strangers with your flutter board. * Ask an attractive lifeguard to practice CPR on you. * Sit in front of a water jet, make moaning sounds and say, "Oh yeah... oooh that feels soooo good...." * Sit on the top of the water slide and don't move. * Swim near a stranger and say, "Dammit I knew I shouldn't have had watermelon before I came here." * Insist that you saw a monster at the bottom of the pool. * Pretend to drown and then when someone tries to help you, say, "HA-HA, fooled you!" * Scream as someone is trying to do something when jumping off of a diving board. * Laugh at fat people in swimsuits. * Tell people you saw the lifeguard pissing in the pool. * Ask a lifeguard if skinny-dipping is allowed. * Try to negotiate the price of getting in. * Take a really long time when you are on top of the high dive and then act as though you were pushed off. * When in line, ask strangers if they think invisible people get a discount. * Take your towel, tie it around your shoulders and say, "Wheee! I'm Batman!" while running around. * Hit strangers with your wet towel. * Throw people's things into the pool. * Sing and dance on top of the diving board, then do a belly-flop as your grande-finale. * Play Marco-Polo by yourself. * Ask small children if they have seen any suspicious-looking sea monsters lately.
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