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| YOU MAY NEED A NEW PSYCHIC IF...
* He keeps shaking black crystal ball and says, "Ask again later." * Every time you draw the Death card, she yells "Go Fish!" * Looks suspiciously like that guy who fixed your muffler last week. * His idea of an "out of body experience" involves whipped cream and women's clothing. * His spoon bending requires two pliers. * Sign in window: "As Seen on '60 Minutes." * During card-reading, asks if you want to "hit" or "stand." * Insists that your astrological sign is "The Armadillo." * Psychics Magazine rates her just below fortune cookies, just above your mom. * Repeatedly attempts to read your palm with his genitalia. * Shakes her crystal ball, then predicts a large snowstorm.
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