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SEX
STORIES
(Rated R)
From Wedding Blues:
It was the morning of my wedding and
as I was leaving my house to my appointments, my ex fiance called
me and told me he had to talk to me. He seemed pretty upset, and although
we had a really bad split,( I left him at the alter after 2 years
and 40,000 dollars of planning) I decided to go and meet him at his
house. Well, I called and pushed back all of my appointments and headed
over to his house, lying to everyone, (including my to-be husband).
When I got there, John let me in and led me to the living room, which
was dimly lit with candles and incense burning, there, he told me
how hot I was and how much he wanted to be my last fling. John was
the best lover I had always been with so there was so much temptation,
so much, I couldn't refuse. So I ended up having the most intense
and raunchy sex with him there in his living room, on my wedding day.
Before I left, he wished me good luck, and we shared a passionate
kiss. Well, later that evening, in the middle of my fathers extravagant
70,000 wedding ceremony for me, a huge tv screen flickered on and
off, and suddenly began playing John and my sexcapade from earlier
that day! With the sound included, making it obvious that the video
was shot that morning! Needless to say, everyone that attended my
"wedding" thinks a lot differently of me now, my parents
are making me pay them back, my husband of one evening filed for divorse
and my ex got his revenge, and my life will never be the same!
From GM:
I was 17 years old when this happend.
I was alone with my girlfriend in my living with no one in the house
besides my little brother. We started talking for a while and then
I turned off the lights and started kissing her. Well soon enough
we start getting undressed and busy. We went all night not knowing
what time it was. Well by the time we stopped I turned around only
to see my little brother standing there with his mouth wide open..
He started yelling and screaming and there was nothing I could do
because I was naked. My girlfriend started laughing and it was weird
because there was nothing funny about this. I soon found out that
he cut himself on a toy in his room and that he didn't seem to notice
that I was making love with my girlfriend. Ever since then my girlfriend
and I always make sure noone's in the house and won't be there for
a while.
From UnderHouseArrest:
No, this is not made
up in anyway!!! I was 18 when this happened. When my then-boyfriend
(who's now my husband) and I started having sex, we liked to experience
with crazy stuff (and we still do). I had this weird, red bunkbed
in my room, and I just used the top bunk to store junk in. I had my
boyfriend over for a night of fun, unbeknownst to my parents. We broke
out the handcuffs and eventhough I hate to be bound in any way, I
decided to let him try to cuff me to the bed while we had sex. My
boyfriend also confessed to me that he thought my ugly, peach-colored
prom dress was incredibly sexy. So here I was, dressed in my too-tight
prom dress, handcuffed to my bunkbed. I was already uptight, not liking
being bound to the bed to much, but of course, my boyfriend dug it.
I could not wait to get out of those handcuffs. So, we were getting
it on when suddenly, my mom bursts through my door. "Oh, you have
to turn the channel to Saturday Night Live right ! now!!" Let me remind
you that I had both wrists cuffed up behind my head and my peach dress
on. My boyfriend panicked and threw a blanket up over my hands, unable
to get the key in time. My mom just sat there, looking at us, insisting
that we see the funny SNL sketch. I just barked, "Cool, mom, can you
leave please?!?!" My boyfriend, with trembling hands, managed to flip
the channels just to please my mom. She said nothing and just closed
the door. I was so shaken up, that I ordered my boyfriend to unlock
me and let me take that stupid dress off. It scared me from sex for
a good couple of days. I waited for days and days for my mom to confront
me about that extremely embarrassing moment, but she never did!! To
this day, my husband thinks she probably didn't notice what we were
doing, but I don't know how she could have missed it!!!
From Anonymous:
My husband was diagnosed with epilepsy in
his teens, but thankfully grew out of it by the time he reached his 30's. He once worked
in the mobile home industry and had to do a lot of climbing up on catwalks, etc. They were
told they would have to take a first-aid class - which he did. The first night of class
(there were about 80 people present), the teacher began talking about epilepsy and the
dangers involved with people working in an industrial setting. My husband, thinking he
could inform others, raised his hand and told her he had epilepsy. The teacher then asked
if he climbed. Apparently not thinking, he replied, "no I just lie in the bed and
jerk." The whole room erupted with laughter and he has not offered his opinions since
on that subject.
From agent_salamander:
I worked at a small grocery store in senior
high and after I had been there a year my boss hired this new girl to work there who I
developed this huge crush on. Somehow I never got the chance to ask her out and only a few
people knew about the crush I had on her. One day at work me and a couple of co-workers
started talking about how crappy our families were and one of the co-workers I was talking
with happened to be this girls mother who also worked at the store. Anyway during the
course of the conversation I finally said "Well I gotta be honest with you, I'd trade
you families in a second!" At this point my crush's mother said to me, "The only
reason you say that is because you want to sleep with my daughter!" As I was in shock
at that point I slowly walked to the staff room and waited for the last 15 minutes of my
shift (also the longest 15 minutes of my life) to end. To this day I still haven't figured
out how she found out I had a crush on her daughter.
From Anonymous:
one nite when my bf
was over and we were "watching" my little sister. She had
gone up stairs and we had thought she had gone to sleep so we started to
make out and we stared to get really into it and he started to give me head
and it was really pleasuring and my little started to walk down the stairs
and we didn't hear her so we kept on going and she saw us and she called my
mom and told her what we did and i wasn't allowed to see my bf or any other
guy for that fact for a month! then at school my bf told every one what had
happened and ever since then every one calls me "header girl" i never lived
it out.
From really embarrassed:
Later on in life, my boyfriend and I
decided to drink a little more then we should have,, well needless to say that we ended up
in the bedroom like we always did when we have had to much to drink... Anyway we were
going at it all hot and heavy when he suggests a 69 position,, OK no problem with me,,
well i didn't realize that the former position we were using had trapped a lot of air in
my "whohaa" and after a couple minutes of really enjoying the 69 position,,, I
quieffed right in his face,, it was soo loud and i couldn't stop it, I was so drunk that i
just rolled off the bed laughing and i was still doing it he started to laugh hysterically
when i told him that i couldn't make it stop,, ,the part that i was laughing at the most
was what his face must have looked like when it happened..To make matters worse the next
day I figured that he would be picking on me but he never mentioned it so! me being the
dumb one that i am,, brought it up. As soon as i told him he started laughing and told me
that he had forgotten all about it,, and i started laughing with him and i told him that
the part I found most funny was trying to picture the look on his face,, then he told me
that he was just like what the f**k was that! and he was a bit confused at the time...
From that day on if he wants something he tells me that he will tell someone about it if I
dont do it so of course he gets what he wants,, that was hysterical
and embarrassing at the same time,, i will never forget it!
From Ed:
One time when me and my girlfriend were in her house and she had to go to work but
unlucky for me i had no key to my house my girlfriends mam said that i should stay the
night i am 18 and my girlfriend is 21, me and her mother started having a few and we got
flirty with each other we were feeling each other and i was starting to get real horney so
we start kissing and and then we went to the bedroom it was much better than with my
girlfriend but that night she didint come in at all that night cause she rang up and had
to stay at her friends by this me and her mother were very drunk and could not pick her up
so. The next morning when i woke up i was next to her mam and we had bit of quick session
with each other and at that point her husband and my girlfriend walk into the bedroom as i
am raming her in the bed and i got 2 black eyes for that and a broken arm. So we and her
mother now live with each which i regret cause my ex girlfriend wont even talk to me now.
From Nick:
No parts of this story are overembelished,
I swear. This happened to me while at band camp. We get a break in the afternoon, and I
chose to take my shower at that time. The showers are really really crummy, so I tried to
get in and out of there as fast as I could. Thinking most people would be elsewhere, I
come out wearing a towel around my waist, and go to make it back to my cabin. Two freshman
girls (I was a sophmore at the time) come walking right by me and sort of wave at me, so
naturally I tend to get a small erection (perfect timing, huh?). Here's the clincher; due
to the heavy wind, my towel goes flying off, and there I am standing butt naked outside in
front of two hot girls with a boner. naturally they start laughing, and I've never lived
that down.
From Julie:
For some strange reason, my boyfriend's dog
likes to eat underwear if it's on the floor. One day me and my boyfriend we're messing
around and I already was undressed, he lets the dog out of the room so he wouldn't bother
us. I went to go get dressed afterwards and I couldn't find my underwear. The dog had
taken my thong underwear out of the room into the kitchen during the family lunch time and
licked them in front of everyone. I wanted to die.
From Fish Girl:
One day when I was in the 11th grade I was
sitting on the bus with this really cute dude and I had on leather pants and a pink pair
of thongs, his favorite color. He looked down my pants and said that he liked my thongs
and what did I have on them. I said oh they are red roses on them. He said "Can I
stick my hand in them?" and I said "yes". I was wet and when he fingered me
he fingered until we got to school. After he fingered me he took out his hand and he
looked at me funny. I smiled but he didn't smile back he just looked. We got of the bus
and he was smelling his fingers and whispering to his buds. Through out the school day his
buddys came up to me and said I heard you smell like dead fish. I looked at them like they
were stupid and they started laughing at me and walked off. I went to the bathroom and
went into to the stall and stuck my finger in my pants and took them out and smelled my
fingers and sure enough I smelled like dead fish. I was soooooooooooooo embrassed and from
that day on I washed myself like crazy.
From Stupid Statement:
By the age of 20 I had only slept with 2
guys, the 1st one was a fiance' and we never used any protection except the "Rythmn
Method." The second guy, who is now my husband of 5 years, always used condoms.
Well, I lived in a garage apartment in the
rear of a large Victorian house, just about in the woods. The septic started backing up
one day and got to the point where it needed maintenence. I called the landlord who in
turn called Roto-Rooter. When he got there and started snaking out the toilet, he started
pulling out tree roots that had grown thru the plumbing from outside and were blocking the
system. I noticed some orange balloon like things stuck to the roots and stupidly said
" Now who the hell flushed balloons down the toilet?" By the time I got the
first three words out, I realized what they were, but it was too late to stop myself from
saying the rest! I know I turned three shades of purple when the guy looked at me with a
face I'll never forget.....what's just as embarassing is that my visiting mother was
standing right next to me!!! Sadly, I still open my mouth and make stupid statements 10
years later.
From TREE:
After my husband got out of the military we
decided to move back home. For the first few weeks we had to stay at his mothers house and
sleep on the couch in the living room....with Jerry. The fifteen year old Maccaw. Our
first night there we decided to break in the sofa bed with a little R+R. The next day we
were all sitting at the breakfast table and Jerry started screaming. We all turned to make
sure he was alright. He started babbling something at first and we couldn't make out what
he was saying, but it sounded like he was in pain. It began to get clearer and clearer
though.
In his best female voice we heard, "OH
GOD..OH BABY" over and over followed by screams. My father in law ran out of the
house laughing. Believe it or not my mother in law sat there still confused. We've never
had sex in the house since.
From S Mac:
I was going on a trip to England and when I
was there I was invited to a party and ther was this chick there who was probably a 40dd
bra size and she was hot and all of a sudden I felt this urge to dance with her and I
couldn't help myself so I pulled the strap at the back of her dress and to my surprise she
wasn't wearing a bra, she just laughed and we kept on dancing and then after we finished I
was feeling really horny so I went outside and started to choke the snake and I was about
to drop my load when a bunch of people came out of the house so I ran over to the shrubb
next to the house and let off there, then a huge guy stood up with sprog all over his
face, he was double my size and he was the owner of the house and he was hiding in the
shrubbs to scare the first person that walked past, I tell ya he really scared me.
From J:
My husband and I were living with his
parents at the time, We were in bed and he was eating on my snatch and his dad came in and
saw him blowing on my clit, he shut the door real fast and all you can hear is his feet
running down the hall way, the next day though we caught his dad doing the same thing to
his mom. Who says kids can't teach parents knew stuff.
From Anonymous:
One night my husband and i were having sex,
we were relly getting into it when he lifts my legs above his, shoulders i started to get
worried i knew i had gas,and was afraid i would fart. well wouldn't ya know it one good
push and i left loose a relly loud fart boy was i embarrased.
From Swallowgirl:
A group of co-wokers and myself all went to
an ammusment park for the day. At the end of the day, we were all really hot so we decided
to get a shower and meet at Red Lobster for diner. I spit the tail of my shrimp out
because I accidentally ate it. Well we were all laughing and joking around, when a
co-worker of my (which I had a huge crush on) asked me if I spit? I yelled, "I don't
spit, I swallow!!!!!" Everyone in the restaurant stopped eating and looked at me, the
guys at the table behind us dropped their silverware on the floor! I was so embarrassed,
luckily everyone was laughing and my crush asked me if I wanted to ride home with him!!!!!
Unfortunately he was joking! We had a great time that night, even though we are only
friends, I wouldn't want it any other way. I am still getting teased about that night by
everyone at the office!!!!!!!
From SB:
One day when I was 15, I was sitting at
home bored out of my mind. I decided to go into my room and pull out the old nudey mag.
With hormones ragging I could't help myself, It was time to jerk one off. Only about half
way into it my mom barges in to tell me dinners ready. So there I am, bare ass naked, on
the floor, nudey mag in one hand, my cock in the other.
Let me tell ya sitting across from my
mother at that dinner table after she just cought me spanking my munkey wasn't even the
worst of it. That night I had a basketball game two hours away and she had to drive me
there. I don't think we said a word. That was the most embarassing time in my life.
From that day on before my mother ever
entered my room she'd knock first and ask if I was decent.
From Bostonguy:
I was on Spring Break with a bunch of my
buddies in Panama City Beach, Florida. We had rented a very spacious room that included an
outdoor Jacuzzi. Well, I could not wait until nightfall to hit the bars and check out the
scenery for women. After a few pitchers of beer I decided to make my move. I starting
hitting it off with this chick and I could tell that she was think the same think as me.
So I suggested that we take dip in the Jacuzzi at my place. As we were walking back
everyone driving and walking buy just had make comments on "our plans." It was
the longest walk of my life. The plan was to get her excited then take her into my room
later. This girl could not wait. We started doing right there in the Jacuzzi. We started
to really get into when suddenly a Security guard comes out of nowhere and asked me for my
hotel ID. Mind you we are both completely naked and the "ID" is fastened on my
ankle with an elastic band. He checked the ID and kept walking.
From Cricket:
I was moving from Florida to Michigan. My
boyfriend and I liked to experiment, so I had collected a large array of "toys"
and such. I didn't realize it, but my brother was carrying out the box that they were in
when one of the vibrators turned on. I looked out the window to see my brother digging
through the box trying to find it and turn it off. He came back in with a smirk on his
face and never said a word.
Two stories from SG:
I lived on the third floor of a really
exclusive condo in Dallas, Texas. I had this incredible hand carved Italian wooden bed
with the mirror above it. There was this large window right behind my bed. It was around
10 in the morning and I woke up after a late night of partying the night before. O.K., how
do I say this? I woke up horney because my boyfriend had left without "doing what he
shoulda" the night before. Anyway, I was using my vibrator and "taking care of
business", when I heard someone right behind me say "Do you see what I
see?" I looked up into the mirror over the bed to see the reflection of the window
washers right behind my head. I figured stopping wouldn't ease my embarrasment any, so I
finished up. This was one of the two most embarrasing moments in my life.
AND
My girlfriends gave me a gag gift party and
one of the gifts was an 18 inch vibrator that was so big it looked like you should kick
start it. We laughed and I put it away and never thought about it again.
Months later, I flew up to Colorado Springs
to pick up my Corvette from the house and drive it back to Dallas. I thought I would get a
head start on moving, so I through a couple of small boxes behind the seat in my car. I
was driving down the road on the interstate, when I heard this strange sound coming from
the car. Since this was a new car, I was really concerned so I pulled over beside the
road. When I turned the motor off, I still heard the sound. I was looking around when a
state trooper pulled up. I told him the problem and he started looking in the car, while I
was looking in the front. All of a sudden, he said, "Ma'am, I - uh, I think I found
your problem." I turned around and looked at him to see him standing there biting the
sides of his mouth to keep from laughing and holding up this 18 inch vibrating plastic
penis. I wanted to die! All I could think to do was grab it, throw it in the back, get in
the car, say "thank you" and drive off. I looked in my rear view mirror to see
him holding his stomach, bent over, and laughing his ass off. I bet he still tells that
story to this day. .. I know I do.
From 3eb_lover:
I was riding home from school on the bus
one day, and me and one of my friends, George, were joking around. Another friend,
Jessica, said something. I thought she said "Who's really crazy?" I yelled
"Me!" just to be funny. It turns out she actually said, "Who wants to sleep
with George?" What's worse is that he already knew i liked him. I wanted to DIE.
From Anonymous:
I was dating this guy I work with and we
both have alpha-numeric pagers. So when we were bored we would send each other x-rated
pages. Well for some reason one of the raunchiest pages I sent him on the alphamate didn't
go through. I didn't realize this and went about my business wondering why he had never
paged me back. Later on that day my boss shocked me by repeating almost verbatim what I
had paged my boyfriend. Turns out everyone in the office had read it. I still haven't
lived it down.
From Anonymous:
IT STARTED OUT ONE EVENING WHEN MY HUSBAND
WAS CALLED IN TO WORK IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR HOT LOVE SESSION. BEING THAT MY HUSBAND IS A
DOCTOR, HE HAD NO CHOICE BUT TO LEAVE ME NAKEDLY HORNY.... WELL, I COULD NOT RESIST MY
TEMPTAION OF BEING SO AROUSED SO, I GRAB MY BOTTLE OF WATER NEXT TO ME ON MY NIGHT DRESSER
AND, I STARTED STROKING IT IN AND OUT OF
MY KITTY, I HAVE TO SAY AS EMBARRASSING AS
IT WAS USING A 1 LITER BOTTLE OF WATER BUT, JUST THE HEAD NOZLE OF THE BOTTLE, I FOUND
MYSELF EXTREMELY AROUSE BY THIS AND ALMOST AT MY ERECTION WHEN SUDDENLY I SEE MY AUNT WHO
WAS GETTING A NIGHT SNACK GLANCING IN MY BEDROOM SINCE MY HORNY SELF DIDN'T REALIZE THAT
MY HUSBAND HAD NOT CLOSE OUR BEDROOM DOOR TIGHTLY AS HE RUSHED OFF TO WORK.
I WAS SO EMBARRASS THAT MY AUNT HAD TO
WITNESS SUCH BEHAVIOR. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO HER THE NEXT DAY. I WAS PACING BACK
AND FORTH IN MY KITCHEN THAT MORNING AS I WAS SETTING THE TABLE
FOR BREAKFAST. SUDDENLY I FELT LIKE RUNNING OUT OF MY KITCHEN AS MY AUNT WALKS IN BUT, TO
MY SURPRISE, SHE WALKED RIGHT UP TO ME SMILED AND WHISPERS TO ME THAT I SHOULD USE A
VIBRATOR NEXT TIME, I WAS SO MORTIFIED BY THIS AND THEN THOUGHT QUICKLY, WHAT THE HELL
DOES MY 68 YRS. OF AGE AUNT KNOWS ABOUT VIBRATORS. WE BOTH STARTED LAUGHING OUT
HISTERICALLY. I , TIL THIS DAY NEVER TOLD MY HUBBY AND DON'T INTEND TO EVER UNLESS I DRINK
MYSELF 2 BOTTLES OF WINE, MAYBE THEN I'LL BE BOLD ENOUGH TO TELL HIM BUT, NO WAY RIGHT NOW
AND, MY AUNT I COULD TRUST WOULD NEVER SPEAK OF IT. IT'S BEEN A YEAR SINCE THAT INCIDENT
AND WHEN WE HAVE FAMILY BRUNCHES, ME AND AUNT WOULD JUST MAKE LITTLE JOKES OF IT.
